Sermon

April 22, 2007

The Fear Factor:  Fear of Failure

John 21:1-19

April 22, 2007

These are the last two paragraphs on the last page of the last gospel in the New Testament.  The disciples have seen the miracles, they have witnessed Lazarus rising from the dead, they have seen the nail holes in Jesus’ hands, Thomas has seen the nail holes and touched Jesus’ wounded side – and still, they have gone back to fishing.  What is Jesus doing on his third resurrection appearance in John?  His last resurrection appearance in John?  He is there to get Every Member Involved!!

The fear of failure has paralyzed Peter.  In our primitive wiring, we all have the basis of fear – last week’s fear of not believing, the fear of change, the fear of dying, the fear of rejection, the fear of not counting, and the fear of failure.  The fear of failure is a universal fear.  There’s the fear of failure at something because you have never tried it before.  There’s the fear of failure at something because you have already failed the first time.

I have talked to so many people who will not try something for the first time simply because of the fear of failure.  They think that if they try skiing they will fall in front of everyone when they try to get on the high-speed chair lifts.  They think that if they try out for a part in a play, they might be too inhibited to do a good job.  They might be a failure.  They think that if they raise their hand to answer a question in class, they might get it wrong.  I am one of those people.  When I brought my first child home from the hospital and sat down with him, alone for the first time, I thought, “What in the heck am I going to do with this baby?”  As a teenager, even though I was a good swimmer, I refused for years to try diving, because I was afraid of failure.  I would approach the sides of a pool, every summer, when no one was watching, with my hands over my head, poised as I had watched my sister do, and then, at the last minute, I would jump in.  It wasn’t until after college that I was able to let go of my fear of failure and simply dive into the pool.  No matter that I had a mother who read to me weekly when I was a child “The Little Engine That Could,” ending each night with, “So, there is nothing that you can’t do if you will just keep saying, “I think I can; I think I can; I think I can.”

Then there is the fear of failure that comes because one has already failed the first time – failed at relationships, failed at a job, failed at accepting a call.  Peter falls into this category.  He has already failed.  He has failed in a big way – he has failed at his relationship, he has failed at his job, he has failed at accepting his call.  The future of the church rested on Peter.  He had promised that he would never deny Christ and yet he denied Christ, not just once but three times.  (Read from John 18.)  Peter had failed to live up to his own expectations for himself.  He has a lot to fear post-resurrection.

As a matter of fact, Peter, like the other disciples, has returned to fishing.  The fishing life itself was one of constant anxiety, of wondering whether today’s catch would actually be enough to provide.  Those of you who have lived in such anxiety, whether as fishermen or commissioned salespeople, know how everything in life can come down to that one question:  Will there be enough?  Will I be able to provide?  It’s the failure of not providing.  All his life, until he met Jesus, Peter had been consumed by that fear, that question, “Will there be enough?”  Then came Jesus, beckoning with “Follow me.”  Jesus has a vision.  Peter has given up on that vision.  He and the other disciples haven’t been able to sustain Easter beyond resurrection appearances.  We can tell from today’s scripture, the early church got off to a slow start!  Today’s radical decline in church attendance and activity after Easter tells us we still have the same problem.  Every member was NOT involved!!

It’s confusing, especially in the exchange between Peter and Jesus.  Peter, like the other disciples, has broken bread and eaten a meal of fish with Jesus, and he understands more now about the resurrection.  It is, however, an uncomfortable exchange, an exchange in which Peter feels that Jesus is doubting him:  “Peter, do you love me?”  (Read vss. 15-19.)

Don’t you know there was that nagging doubt in the back of Peter’s mind, that nagging thought, “Jesus is going to remember me always as the one who…..‘said I could, said I could, said I could!’”

Today, something has changed.  Peter has experienced the presence and the power of Christ with such impact that he jumps in the water, fully clothed, and almost drowns!  He shares a meal with the risen Christ.  His anxiety, if you will, changes from “Will there be enough fish for me and my family?” to “Will I be able to spread the word not only to my family and friends but to my enemies – to the Jews and the Romans?  Will I be able to share the overflowing abundance of God’s grace that prevails in all of our lives?

Today’s passage underscores the truth that God doesn’t call the equipped.  God equips the called.  You never know whom God will use.  It is not so much what we are able to achieve or envision but whether we are willing to put our fear of failure behind us or, as Rebecca said last Sunday, use that fear of failure or doubt as an edge or tool to show that we can do it, that we are worthy of the trust, to venture out beyond our own perceived limitations, our biases, our ideologies.  Simon Peter had failed, again and again.  He had also been forgiven.  He has been encouraged; he had been called.  Our God of second chances is now saying to him, once again, “Follow me.”  Peter had to learn how to be a leader, how to cope with his weaknesses, how to follow Jesus, and, now, how to live without fear, or perhaps use it as a survival strategy.

Listen to how God calls each of us. **************** (Feed, tend, lead)  Tend my earth.  Take care of it.  Believe that you need to be a good steward of that earth.  Remember to feed the kids who need free lunches during the summer, even when you are on vacation.  Care for others as Christ did, whether it is participating in Amigos, People Helping People, to restore 35 homes for the elderly and those on a limited income or whether it is joining in with the trustees to work day and night sometimes so that our overpacked garage can be used or storage and our building and grounds may truly be a place that welcomes newcomers.  The command is still “EMI – Feed My Sheep.”  This is the last chapter of John.  After this, Peter is out on the highway.  The rest of the disciples are out on the highway.  What is your fear?  Don’t be afraid of failure.  Whatever your fear is, God’s presence will take you beyond that fear.  Amen.