Sermon

APRIL 15, 2007

Rev. Rebecca Grogan

The Fear of Not Believing

John 20.l9-31  (John 11.16, 14.5)

April 15, 2007

I come to you today with an admission---I am a self-doubter.  There is nothing, nothing you can say to me that will be harder on me than my own self-doubt.  I used to analyze things and think, “What did I do wrong, or should I have done this, or should I have not done that….”  I can’t say it was productive, it was self-defeating and sometimes it led me to not act at all.

Then I had my first Myers-Briggs test and found out that my type of personality is by nature a self-doubter.  Well, this certainly turned things around for me.  I decided that since I tended to self-doubt that I better use it for good and make it productive, so I not use it to design and evaluate my plans. It has become a positive and productive asset most of the time.

So you can see that I think that Thomas has gotten a bad wrap for his doubting.  In fact, his mistrust reflected his fellow disciples actions!  Sometimes it is difficult to know what to trust.  Take global warming; I can’t really see it on a day-to-day basis so it is hard to trust that it is a reality.  But when the General Board of Church and Society came out with a news release asking churches to get involved in making it known to citizens that it is real and necessary to begin actions now to stop global warming, I believed that it was real because I trust the Church. When we as a church ask members to become involved in Amigos Days so that elderly men and women of Dallas can live in safe homes, we have to believe that it is worth the time to help out. 

But even those things pale in comparison to the Resurrection.  Last Sunday, Judith spoke of our connection of the new creation that comes with spring and the story of resurrection.  She said that we shouldn’t confuse connecting the two.  While spring and new birth is natural, Resurrection is not a natural event.  It isn’t natural for someone to be alive who was dead.  It wasn’t natural then and it’s not natural now.  It isn’t natural for for a person to walk the earth, talking, and eating with humanity who has died.  It isn’t natural to believe such a thing!  Certainly Thomas shouldn’t be derided for his doubt?   Pierre Abelard, a medieval theologian whose work is used today in teaching, wrote, “The beginning of wisdom is found in doubting; by doubting we come to the question, and by seeking we may come upon the truth.”  Perhaps Thomas was exercising his emerging wisdom in this resurrection doubt. 

Thomas was a loyal follower of Jesus.  When Jesus wants to go back to Bethany because Lazarus has died, Thomas says to the rest of the disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.”  He was a courageous follower of Jesus.

When Jesus talks of preparing a place for those who believe in God and in Jesus at the last Passover supper, Jesus says to the disciples, “And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also.  And you know the way to the place where I am going.”  Thomas responds for all the disciples by saying, “Lord, we do not know where you are going.  How can we know the way?” He was a no-nonsense follower of Jesus seeking the truth.

To the disciples who claimed to have seen Jesus after the crucifixion, Thomas says, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”  Disbelief isn’t Thomas’ problem.  No, it’s fear of not believing.

Thomas has been a loyal, no-nonsense follower of Jesus.  He has seen Jesus cure the blind and lame.  He has seen Jesus raise Lazarus from the dead!  He has learned from listening to Jesus.  Jesus has promised to return and take the disciples to a place prepared for them.  He has told them he is the way, the truth and the life.  Jesus told Thomas and the other disciples that because they know Jesus, they have seen and know God.  Oh, he believes; and he questions that what is happening may change his believing! 

Christ’s resurrection changes things.  These men, Jews, understand prophets and their particular relationship with God.  They know the stories of Elijah and Elisha.  They’ve grown up on the stories of the prophets and kings.  But, Christ’s resurrection changes things.  Well, first his death did.  No more hope of a messianic king who would bring Israel’s enemies to their knees.  And now, well, he’s not a prophet, he’s God.  He has breathed the Holy Spirit on the disciples and given them the power to forgive sins.  He is sending them out; what does he say? “As the Father has sent me, so I send you.”  I can see why they were so excited when Thomas returned and they told him about Jesus. 

But a week later, they’re still shut up in the house when Jesus comes again.  They have yet to come up with a plan and don’t until the coming of the Holy Spirit on Pentecost.  Are they really any different from Thomas?  Is their inactivity fear or doubt?  Does it make a difference if the result is inactivity?  At least Thomas gives an ultimatum…..”Unless I see the mark of the nails to his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”  Is he not voicing what all the disciples are thinking?  Is his pronouncement not an echo of our own doubts and fears?

Like Thomas, we believe, and we may fear not believing.  Many of us fear spiritual growth.  Recently, Barna Group, a Christian survey firm, published a list of the 12 most significant religious findings from 2006 surveys.  Just to preface these findings, let me tell you that in a survey just this year, 2007, Barna found that there are around 100 million people in the US who are unchurched.  And 13 to 15 million of that number are people who identify themselves as Christians.  The three findings that are relevant to our look at the fear of not believing are:  1) Although large majorities of Americans feel that they are “deeply spiritual” and that religious faith is “very important” only 15% that attend Christian churches ranked their relationship with God as the top priority in life.  The question is, from where do they acquire their spirituality?  The answer may be that they acquire their spirituality from life experience and secular sources that they come into contact with during daily life….that is, television, movies, books and magazines.  Their spiritual growth is experienced accidentally and that doesn’t reflect their spirituality as being very important.  What we do know is that the majority of them don’t get it from biblical study.  2)  While they think of themselves as spiritual, Christians don’t know what they are hoping for in becoming a follower of Christ.  They are distracted by the busyness of life.  In becoming a follower of Christ, they expect to live a certain way, but are unable to articulate what that means in concrete terms.  3)  Americans who consider themselves Christians devote a very little effort to spiritual growth.  Those surveyed don’t evaluate their spiritual journey or develop a plan for spiritual growth.  What this means is that Christians are likely to think of their Christianity as relative; relative to culture and personal experience. 

Thomas was raised with the traditions, stories and writings of the Hebrew faith.  He was probably as comfortable with these things as contemporary Christians are with their personal faith experience.  What Thomas lacked, personal faith experience, we may have.  What we may lack, tradition and study of the written word, Thomas did have.  What he feared was a personal experience that would change his faith.  What we may fear is a tradition and the written word that would change our faith.

The opposite of doubt isn’t belief; it is to consider.  When confronted with a situation that makes us doubt, we need to consider. Considering needs information and when information is denied for the convenience of status quo, we lose relationship.  In the case of our faith, we lose the possibility of a closer, deeper relationship with God.  God, Christ, the Holy Spirit isn’t an abstract idea, or some being that’s “out there.”  Our triune God is with us, in our world working every day, with or without us.  God calls to us before we believe in prevenient grace.  What I mean is the grace that comes before we believe.  And when we believe, God gives us the gift of justifying grace that frees us from our sins and the will to sin.  And we settle into perfecting grace, that grace that continues to form us and nurture us as we grow in our closeness to God and the perfection in love we were meant to share with God.  That’s what we can gain in considering our spiritual growth.  It is worth our time and our priority.  All of us have the opportunity to grow in our spiritual faith here at First Church because we have plenty of classes available.  We have classes that will make you consider, and give language to what you feel.  Right now we are offering five studies that range from parental support, to biblical study, to difficult questions of faith, to a class for those beginning in the Christian faith.  I’m not even including Sunday morning classes! All of these classes are open to you; for you to consider and believe.

When Thomas was confronted with the truth, with Jesus standing in front of him, he exclaimed, “My Lord and my God!”  It is a statement of belief founded in trust and truth.  Thomas went on to become a missionary spreading the gospel to India and the far east as Peter did to Greece and Italy, Philip to Africa, Mark to Egypt  and John to Syria and Asia Minor.  From the day of Pentecost, the disciples grew fearless in their mission to spread the gospel.  Their lives reflected their faith and trust, their belief in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.  Does your life reflect your faith and trust in Jesus Christ?  Do you still doubt the power of God’s love for you? C.S. Lewis once wrote, “There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking.” Either way means that you don’t grow.  Grow spiritually, lose the fear of not believing and gain a closeness to our God.